Finishing a Thought

 I realize now that I didn't really address the concept of permanent change that I used in the title of last week's entry.  Let's talk about that a little, because I think it's elusive to many of us. 

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits (great book, btw) blows the 21 day, 30 day and other time frames to bits.  He relies on scientific research, or study to determine that it takes 66 days to form a new habit.  This conclusion is based on a 12-week study involving 96 participants.  Each person chose a new habit to form, so their outcome would be based on personal desire and preference.  Some chose simple habits, like drinking a bottle of water with lunch instead of a soda.  Others chose a more difficult task, like running 15 minutes before dinner (horrors).  The data was analyzed at the end of 12 weeks by a group of researchers at University College London headed by Phillippa Lally, a health psychology researcher, and it was discovered that 66 days is the magic number. (jamesclear.com)

If I haven't lost you in the science-y stuff, here's the upshot:  set your expectations on 66 days when trying to form a new habit, not 21 or 30.  Choose a habit or behavior that is realistic.  We all know that if you're spending 3 or 4 hours a day Netflixing, or sitting behind a desk at your job, going from 0 to running a mile everyday is likely not within the realm until you work up to it.  There is no habit too small.  If it's more water every day - good on you!!  By the way, aim for 1/2 your body weight in ounces per day.  It's life-changing, and you'll feel the affects.  And the constant peeing will slow down after a few days.  So worth it.  

What I'm saying is aim for being better, not perfect.  Where do you want to be in 66 days?  How do you want to feel?  That's not that far away, and you could make a major life change in that time.

If you're running up against it and feeling like you're not actually being better, it's likely an inside job (as they all are, friends).  Ask yourself this question:  "What would I need to believe about this for this to work?"  Change the narrative in your head from "This is hard", "This won't work, nothing ever does", "I can't do this" to "I'm made for more", "Of course I can do this!", "I've figured out hard stuff before, I am figuring this out, too." Or whatever affirmation feeds your heart.  Spend time with you and figure out what it is you need to hear yourself saying. The ones I offer in bold are pretty universal and work well for most if you're stuck, and they are ones that I use on the daily.

Know that I'm cheering for you and in my book you're a champion!  I'm also over here needing a cheerleader for myself, so if you're interested, let's cheer each other on.

Summer Plans

Have any of you attempted to book a flight lately?  Holy moly.  I'm just curious about your experience, if you've done any booking in the last 2 months or so.  The last I flew was in October to Dublin.  It seems to me that trip went off without a hitch, but before that I flew to Florida for a girls long weekend in Palm Beach with my "work" pals and that flight - or I should say - those flights were a cluster and a half.  One leg of the return was cancelled 2x and I ended up with 2 stops (one in Chicago that I was dreading, but turned out ok) before I walked off the plane at PDX.  My kiddos have had worse luck.  One having a flight cancelled the day of (for 6 of them!) and the other still in limbo after several cancellations for a flight from Dublin.  And if you don't know about the airport situation in Dublin, and why would you, really?, take a look online.  Jaysus, Mary and Joseph.  

Some people long for sunny beaches with white sand and turquoise water.  Me?  This is what moves me:  The green, lush, soft, mossy land of Ireland.  I suppose Scotland and Wales are much the same, and someday I will find out first hand. 

When you can be on a narrow country road, look out to your left and there are rolling, green hills dotted with low, soft trees and in front of you are sheep in the road and to your right is a castle, an honest to goodness castle, you guys that's heaven to me. 

 I can look into the sweet faces of the people I meet in Dublin, or in a sweet little town and know that we share history, that these are the people and this is the land that I come from  and it's more than a vacation.  It's going home.  Does that sound impossibly corny?  I don't care.  The first time I stepped off the airport transport and put my foot on the cobblestones of Dame Street near the entrance to College Green and Trinity College in Dublin some 10 or 12 years ago, I was home, I was 100% Irish rather than the nearly 80% suggested by my DNA.  This was my place, these were my short, round face smiling people.  I belonged there, and that feeling of belonging has been a life long pursuit.  I'm going to talk more about belonging next week, so stay tuned. 

The Irish are the one race for which psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever, because they already live in a dream world. 

-Sigmund Freud. 

It's Monday and the start of my clean eating and general clean up of my act that I mentioned last week.  It's 10:30 am on day 1 and so far so good.  Keep me focused on changing my habit of snacking at night, will you?  The Old Oak usually goes to bed before me and there I am...ready to snack.  And no one to see me slice the cheese and melt it on a tortilla.  It's a habit I slipped gladly into for whatever reason.  It doesn't matter why, it just needs to stop.  Do you have stuff like that in your life?  Sabotaging behavior that you know is not aligned with what you want, yet you do it anyway?  Even when it upsets your stomach?  Ugh.

So...I will aim for August 1, the 66th day.  I'll focus on today, and let tomorrow come and focus on that when it's time.  I'll let you know how it's all going.

Have a lovely weekend! I wish for you happiness and lots of everything that puts a smile on your face.  And health.  I wish you health. 

Until next week!